Not Good Enough, Never Good Enough

Luke

5:1 One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret,† with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God,

5:2 he saw at the water's edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets.

5:3 He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

5:4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water, and let down† the nets for a catch."

5:5 Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets."

5:6 When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break.

5:7 So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

5:8 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!"

5:9 For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken,

5:10 and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men."

5:11 So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

I do, and I think You know it too. But...Haiz...

Lamentations

3:21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

3:22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

3:23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

3:24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

Give

Surprise durian cake, Topman and Adidas vouchers, pretzels, $100 ang bao, U2 turtleneck shirt, thick Oprah book, a HOTDOG from a HOT DAWG, 2 $10 Ben & Jerry’s vouchers, a pair of Adidas shoes from LEFTFOOT I’ve been eyeing for some time, Ben & Jerry’s’ cheese cake, effort to cook curry, whipped potato, lasagne and pizza, High Society album, 2 tubs of Ben & Jerry’s Marsha Marsha Marshmellow and a stress ball. These are the gifts I received for my birthday.

6 days after my birthday and starting to feel a lil weary of all the feasting and celebration. 2 more to go. I really appreciate all the thought put in. Thanks to all of you out there who consider me worth your time and effort.

I’ve eaten so much ice cream over the past couple o days. On Saturday, I had Marsha Marsha Marshmellow for dinner after service. I just whacked both the tubs haha, only to regret later in the night cos of the headache. I suppose it’s cos of the ice cream, not sure though. Had Ben & Jerry’s again with Livi, Veron, Junhuang and Baowei on Sunday. Too bad Susilawati Angkasa Lee Jialing couldn’t make it. I really miss her. Had a great time with Bao anyway. I was also looking forward to meet him. He’s a dear brother with whom I share an awkward love hate relationship. Hahaha. We didn’t talk much at first. I thought to myself since the objective of the meet up was to catch up with him I’d initiate to break the silence. I asked “Hey Bao, how’s your job?” He then answered “Can you please not ask this type of questions?” Silence………………………………………………………...
We proceeded to talk about other things and I found out he’s doing really well and shining for Jesus. Such a consistent brother.

Anniversary is drawing nearer. Everyone is busy. EXCELLENCE, PURPOSE, JOY and UNITY.

Just wanna say here that I feel very loved after I bumped into my ex-shepherd today. Chukai asked me about my studies and showed genuine concern for me, it was a very nice feeling. I won’t say we’re close. We’ve also not talked to each other in a while. But it was nice to know that he still cares for me :) It’s great to be in God’s family.

I must not stop giving. GIVE.

Mark 6:31b

O anyway, just found out today I’ll be getting a new toy for anniversary, the Yamaha PM5D! Never thought I’d have the chance to meet her. Haha… Cool man! Here I come! Anoint me, make something out of what You’ve given me to offer.

24

Just felt a feeling of familiar warmth as I thought about my life on the day of my 24th birth anniversary while listening to Michael W. Smith's rendition of the song Awesome God. Days like these were meant to be set aside for the people you are intimate with. This year feels different, guess its cos they are no longer around. I miss two such people in particular. This year feels different also because of a sense of discontentment. Discontentment at where I stand spiritually at this moment. How I wish to have been closer, more faithful. But I guess there's a difference between looking at the past to learn lessons and well......just looking at the past. On a seperate note, 16 more days to church anniversary celebration at expo. This few weeks have been hectic, I've been going to nexus at least 3 times a week. Everyone is busy preparing for the big day. It gets very boring to keep doing sound. As we all prepare for anniversary, I also want to ensure my heart is prepared. I am reminded of my purpose as a christian. We're so busy preparing the praise and worship because as christians we're invited to relate with God. And so we put in the effort to prepare so that we can usher in and also remind others. As Christians we're also called to fulfill the great commission. And so, I'm reminded of my destiny. There's a task still at hand. I've got a part to play and am eagerly awaiting to see how else I can be involved.

STONEDDD...

Just returned home from the recording of Psalm 78. Heard it will be uploaded to the church website after anniversary. I love doing recording. I love being around the twins and a wonderful lineup of musicians. We have Eugene on percussions, the talented Meya from Filipino group on brass and strings, Fenny on organ, Gerald on piano, Geoffrey on bass, Uncle Albert the screaming guitarist on electric guitar and last but not least Wendy on the drums. I love to do recording with them, they are great musicians. Feelin a bit tired after doing the recording, run up and down...old already, I need a disciple!

Anyway, was reading Ezekiel 22-23 today. I was thinking to myself, wa God is a really angry God, relentless in punishing his children for their wrong doing. Since they are always disobedient, why not just let them suffer, they will come back anyway. But amidst all the anger, jealousy and punishment, I began to see a God who is truly loving. He loved us so much that He will choose not to be passive about our sin. Rather He actively steps out to discipline, and to bring us back.

I'm very much like a hired hand many times. I think to myself, if I correct you, you don't want to listen then too bad la, I'll just leave you alone. You suffer it's not my business. I wash my hands off your case. God corrected me of this kind of passiveness today.

It's great to know that I have a God who actively fights for my heart. Now, I have to look for opportunities to apply this kind of love to others as well.

Wateva

Went for a 10km Sheares Bridge Run with Hendra, Eugene, Davin, Seng and Joyce today. It was a great run. We ran halfway and it started pouring like hippos and rhinos... So heavy it was actually painful as the droplets hit the skin. So drenched that my shirt became so heavy. I was really glad at how I performed today, didn't stop at all, was telling myself, no stopping, no walking... Realised the key is to regulate the breathing, focus on the breathing, not the running. If you regulate it, you won't pant easily, hence not run out of breath easily too. It was great to run alongside seng. :) (Although he's still very KEH KAO about the $10... :P) Anyway, we're all inspired for the Standard Chartered one coming up at the end of the year. Hope some other close friends would join me this time. Davin said he will run the 21km. Hendra aims to come in first for the 10km. Today he just give all of them chance only. He don't want to show power yet. They better not be too complacent, come end of the year, he will show them some colour to look look... Looking at him warm up, I feel intimidated already.

O anyway, since I'm on the topic of Hendra, must really say he's a great guy. One of the most teachable people I've met...

Hmm...this post is not structured at all. Watever la...

No Greater Honor

Ah…Finally, handed in my Information and Network Security assignment and completed Database Management Systems assignment. DBMS assignment due date was pushed back to 1 September. That’ll give me more time to check through. Have been sleeping at like 5 for 2 days. Chionging assignment. Actually not chiong, cos both already about 90% done. Just an excuse to enjoy a quiet night. I love the quietness. God touched me 2 nights back just to remind me He’s here with me as I did my assignment. He anointed me with wisdom. Many times when I’ve struggled to the point where I’m just about to give up, He steps in. To give me a spark of wisdom, an idea of how to solve the problem or a sudden understanding of the subject matter. Thank you Lord for your grace, though many times I’ve forgotten you and chosen to struggle on my own. Thank you for helping me see I don’t need to do my life alone. (pun intended…haha no la, I’m referring to God lor! I’ve just realized how funny that sounds…) I always say stupid things. I remember once after an overnight meeting at Seng’s place I asked Seng, “Hey, where can they sleep ar?” He said “orh, can sleep anywhere” Then I announced “Hey! You guys can feel free to sleep around.” SILENCE…CHRONOSPHERE… Anyway, I love this meaningful song titled No Higher Calling. Goes like this:

Down at your feet O Lord
Is the most high place
In your presence Lord
I seek Your face

There is no higher calling
No greater honor
Than to bow and kneel
Before Your throne
I’m amazed at Your glory
Embraced by Your mercy
O Lord I live to worship You

Lovely. Indeed, it’s the most high place. More of You and less of me. I’m stronger kneeling at Your feet than when I’m standing on my own.

Can't Believe These Idiots

Check this out! It says "Extreme Graphic Content" but it's not that extreme, so go ahead, watch the video and have a blast!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFf-kW1E0Tc

I might want to try this someday, seriously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKoB0MHVBvM&mode=related&search=

Hmm...Maybe this la...Less Idiotic. Hahaha.

So funny...

Importance Of Correct Parenting

Watched this story on Oprah today. Rabbi Shmuley said a lot that made lots of sense. He talked about success in the workplace and how success is defined in the world. Many parents are very successful out there but fail miserably at home as parents. They give it all in the marketplace that they only have leftovers for their children. And so some of them choose the easy way out. They buy things for their kids to make up for their time away. Some are physically there but emotionally spent. The Rabbi mentioned something that stung me. I don't know why, but it just did. I will think about why...anyway, here's what he said (I can't remember his exact words but it goes something like this...). Sometimes the father returns home feeling like an absolute loser and will start to think the person who loves a loser like him is a loser². This will cause him to start withdrawing from the very person who loves him genuinely.

Here's one out of the 3 stories, check out the vdo footage too.

www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200606/tows_past_20060626.jhtml

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, the host of TLC's reality TV series Shalom in the Home, gives on-the-spot parenting advice to families in crisis. A father of eight and author of 10 Conversations You Need to Have with Your Children, Rabbi Shmuley says he aims to bring shalom—or peace—to troubled families who are collapsing in dysfunction.

Rabbi Shmuley says the greatest threat facing America today is internal. "The catastrophic decline of the American family, the utter disintegration, the decentralization of the American home is our foremost national emergency," Rabbi Shmuley says.

The root of the problem, says Rabbi Shmuley, is that families today are disconnected—and he says "checked out" parents are largely to blame.

The Hurons have been married for 16 years and have four children. Greg is a chiropractor; Ruth is a yoga instructor. They bring calm to their clients' lives—but as Rabbi Shmuley discovers during his stay with the family, there is no peace in their own home.

Ruth finds herself in a constant battle with her kids, who she says "don't really care." "They're beating us down to nothing," Ruth says.

Greg says the kids lack respect for each other and their mother. Instead, he says his kids "have become very manipulative and sneaky."

The Huron children say their mom's constant nagging fills them with anger and frustration. "My mom nags way too much," says Nick. "She picks the littlest things and argues about them and complains."

As for dad Greg, the kids say he's either ticked off or tuned out. "Normally, dad's at work, and we understand he has to be there, but even when he's home, he just says, 'Oh, I don't want to deal with that right now,'" says Forrest. "Then when he does, he just gets really angry and gets in a bad mood. He affects the whole house, basically, because it's a trickle-down effect."

Rabbi Shmuley says that children misbehave because of ineffective parenting. After assessing the Huron's situation, he offers Ruth and Greg some simple ways to change the way they parent.

Rabbi Shmuley says the Hurons are making a common mistake by parenting out of fear and trying to be their children's friend. "We believe that by coming off the pedestal and not asserting authority, they will embrace us much more warmly—it is simply not true," he says. "They will have many friends in life—they will have one father, they will have one mother."

Rabbi Shmuley says Greg is allowing his success outside the home to determine his success inside the home—when he feels he falls short, the whole family suffers. "It comes down to money and fame," Rabbi Shmuley says. "So the average guy who just does the right thing but is unknown for it feels like he's a zero."

In order to be a successful family unit, Rabbi Shmuley says Ruth and Greg need to redefine success in their lives. "The man who sits and does homework with his children when nobody is watching…The man who conquers his passions and focuses his lust on one woman—his wife—when no one's watching…To do right because it's right—that is heroic," Rabbi Shmuley says.

After putting Rabbi Shmuley's advice into action, Ruth and Greg says the family is closer than ever. Greg says Rabbi Shmuley helped him see just how much his family means to him. "I just realized that I have the greatest riches in my house," Greg says. "It was a change in my mindset. Those four children and Ruth are the best gift and treasure and the biggest success I will ever have in my life, and I put them first."

Ruth says she no longer nags her children and sees her role in a new light. "You're there to inspire, to uplift, to care for, to know that you're safe," Ruth says. "And just that awareness helped me—seeing how disassociated we were."

Rabbi Shmuley helped the Hurons implement their own "family day" for reconnecting. The family sets aside one night a week—without any interruptions from TV, phones or friends—to spend time talking, playing board games and just hanging out.

Longestestest Post

Recap Of My Week

Monday

Highlight of the day: Anniversary Music Practice

Really look forward to every anniversary music practice. It’s something fresh for me, something challenging. Thank God for my trusty disciple Jiayi. She’s really improved a lot. I can just tell her what to do, she knows how I want it done and how to do it. Anniversary practice went well, Uncle Albert was on reservist and Simon stood in for him. Cello was a bit soft. Mic almost cannot capture at all. Sijia cannot really hear herself because of that. When I got home, downloaded Yo Yo Ma’s stuff to learn how to mix cello. Check out Cello Suite No 1 in G major – Prelude.

Looking forward to recording of Psalm 78!

Check out my toy this anniversary. The Digidesign D-Show, lovely isn't she?



Tuesday

Highlight of the day: WAM Vision Night

Youth team did well in ushering us to worship.

Wednesday

Highlights of the day: Meeting Veron, DMM

Met Veron to discuss the band stuff. Really encouraged by this gal. Very dong si. She sets an example for us in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity though she’s the youngest in the group. Veron, if you are reading this, thank God for you, for sustaining the team, for being a source of encouragement and for showing a real desire to grow. You know she’s the kind of person I don’t mind counseling for hours on end because I can sense very strongly that she wants to grow. Not just complain for the sake of complaining. Thank God for you ron!

If you haven’t watched Lake House I suggest you just give it a miss. Makes no sense at all. Heard from Veron the YWAM gals were like “wa, so romantic…” and the guys were like “wa, wat the he#$!?!?!?!?!” after the show. Hahaha so funny.

DMM…nothing much to say, just felt a little drained after the whole thing. Anyway, it was a good time of learning. David asked a question I’ve never thought of before.

What are the top 3 core values you hold in your life?

As I reflected I could only name 2 off hand. Guess I’m still discovering. My 2 are :
1. Be Self-Sufficient
2. Never Leave The Church Of God

Basically, core values are things you really believe in. You will discover that these core values leave traces of themselves all over your life if you manage to identify them accurately in the first place. For example, if you believe in Discipleship, I can expect to see you spend more time with your sheep, I can see you investing time in people. Yeah, something like that. Good question to ask :)

Thursday

Highlight of the day: Music Practice

We MUST IMPROVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, we will, let’s just work at it.

Friday

Highlights of the day: Shepherding, Supper with Parents

Had shepherding, went there with a heart that’s just waiting to pour out. A lot of things I wanted to tell Tony. Went to harbor front to meet him. Then he started sharing to me about his problems in the office and ministry. Hahaha Turned out to be the other way around, he pour out to me… I was like waiting for a chance but it didn’t come, anyway I chose not to after a while and really listened to him. Guess I shouldn’t be so selfish. Shepherding is not just to meet my needs only. I should also learn how to meet my shepherd’s needs. I also learnt how to share other’s burdens. Have to prepare myself for work man…It’s so different and so real. So many other things to be concerned about.

After class, went to meet parents at Nexus. Family group was having missions night. Wanted to hitch a ride home. We went for supper at Geylang Lorong 9. We ate beef hor fun and then later went to Lorong 36 to eat durian. It was a great time because I’ve not seen my parents an entire week. Every night come home late. Haha, mom’s a very child-like believer. She’s always excited about prayer. A lot I can learn from her…

Saturday

Highlight so far : “Eh, did you all ta pau something for Royston?”

Just woke up and heard my brother saying this after they returned home from breakfast. My parents are systematic, one night spend time with me then next morning spend time with my brother. Anyway, it was nice to hear that he cares for me. He’s the kind who will not ask this kind of questions in front of me. He said it just now thinking I was still asleep. It was his voice that woke me up actually… nice to hear nonetheless.

My mom is funny, she likes to highlight all these. She will tell me when he’s not around, that he loves me a lot. Just now when my door was still closed (they thought I was still asleep) she said to my bro “wa you love him so much ar?” (then he went into his room and shut the door) hahahaha Shy or something…

O…Thank God, my parents are connected to CG now. They’re going to karaoke with their CG mates later. Uncle Calvin (Tamar’s father) is the organizer. Seems like my dad and uncle Calvin quite close. They are CG mates. That’s a good thing because my mom is always at her mom’s place on weekends. Sometimes dad lonely can call uncle Calvin out. I’m so glad…

http://www.donghaeng.net/english/hope/hope.swf
Saw this on Livi’s blog…Really left me thinking…







































Will Jesus really have a beard when we meet Him again?

Can I not wear a robe?

Anyway, the images stuck with me throughout the whole of yesterday. We’re really not home yet. I'm tempted to put the lyrics of the song by Steven Curtis titled "Not Home Yet" but then this post is super long already...

The Best Is Yet To Be

My secondary school slogan. Sounds very cool rite? More than that, it’s meaningful when you know Christ. Indeed, we can all look forward to better days. We’re not home yet.

Went to play badminton with Stanley, Jeremy and Livi today. Was a great time. Really worked out. Perspired like mad. I was very glad to see and talk to Stanley again. Jeremy told me something that was especially encouraging. Told me that Hendra was his best shepherd cos he spent the most quality time with him. I was SO glad to hear that. That meant a lot more to me.

God wants us all to be fruitful. But when everything we do doesn’t seem to bear fruit, will we still praise Him? I’m still working on that. What does “You are more than enough for me” really mean? Am I content with just Him? Can He be my sole reward?

Habakkuk 3:17-18

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen, and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Everyday we tell ourselves loads of crap. Sometimes we should just tell ourselves to shut up and choose to listen to what God says about us.

John 12:24-25

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

Yo Yo Ma is nice!

There You'll Be

Went for 4.3km jog today with Davin. Was a good jog, think I can go for another round. But iya stop la...boring liao. Anyway, I agreed to the jog cos I'm preparing for IPPT as well as the 10km Shears Bridge thingy on the 27th. I love to jog or walk, it gives me time to pray and pour out my heart to God. My heart cry is for God to change me, I need You Holy Spirit to come and change me from the inside out. I need Your power to change me. I can't adhere to truth alone, I need Your empowerment. I'm expecting to see Your power work in me Holy Spirit.

This few days, have come to really hate my procrastinating ways. Sometimes, it's not that I want to procrastinate, but there are so many things going on at once I don't even know which to start with. Not sure if i'm making sense at all but heck this is my blog and I will use it to pour out until it makes sense! :P

Borrowed a Faith Hill DVD as I was in search of some video footage of my drum hero, Mr Vinnie Colaiuta. Realised that Faith Hill's songs are actually not bad. Very meaningful. I hear she's a Christian. A strong one too. Yea, sounds like one from her appearances at the Oprah show. Anyway, I heard this song on the DVD, There You'll Be (Pearl Harbour Soundtrack). Check out the lyrics, I love the lyrics. Wonder if she's actually singing to God. Reminds me that there's always hope when there's God. Thanks once again Jesus.

There You'll Be (Faith Hill)

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I’ll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I’ll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams
I’ll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For you for all my life
I’ll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you’ll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

In my dreams
I’ll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For you for all my life
I’ll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you’ll be

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

In my dreams
I’ll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For you for all my life
I’ll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you’ll be

Tim McGraw, you lucky guy!!!

A Father's Love

Watched this story on Oprah today. Touching... The son can only communicate through a special computer built on a wheel chair for him. He types by moving his head to press the keys. I tried to upload the photo but somehow it just can't be uploaded. Here's the story of a Father's love anyway. :)

Forty-three years ago, Rick was born without the ability to talk, walk or barely move. "They said, 'Forget Rick,'" remembers his father, Dick. "'Put him in an institution. He's going to be nothing but a vegetable for the rest of his life.' My wife and I cried a little bit but we talked and we said, 'We're going to bring Rick home and bring him up like any other child."

Dick knew deep down that his son was thriving on the inside, and he insisted Rick go to school. He believed with every fiber of his being that his son had something to say—and he was right. At age 12, Dick had a special computer built so that Rick could communicate. What were his first words? Not "mom" or "dad" as his parents expected. "The Boston Bruins were going for the Stanley Cup," Dick remembers. "The very first words he ever said were 'Go, Bruins.'"

Rick, born with the heart of a true athlete, made a request that would change their lives forever—he asked his father to team up for a five-mile charity race. Dick had never run in his life. "We finished the whole five miles coming in next to last," Dick remembers, "but not last. When we came across the finish line, it was the biggest smile you ever saw in your life. Rick wrote on his computer, 'Dad, when I'm running, it feels like my disability disappears.'"

After many local races, Dick and Rick take their new passion even further. Even though Dick couldn't swim and hadn't been on a bike since he was 6 years old, the two used a running wheelchair and other special equipment and began training to compete in triathlons.

The pure joy Rick experiences during each race drives his father to the finish line again and again. "Rick can't make very many sounds," Dick says with tears in his eyes, "but he does [make a certain sound] a lot when we're out there competing. … You know he's happy and he enjoys himself."

So far Rick and Dick have competed in over 206 triathlons and 64 marathons!

Dick says his son saved his life. Preparing to run their 23rd Boston marathon, Dick went to see a doctor about a tickle in his throat. An EKG revealed that Dick had suffered a silent heart attack. She informed Dick that he had a severe cholesterol problem and told him that if he weren't in such great athletic condition, he would have died 15 years ago!

"When [Rick] asked me to start pushing him that first race," Dick says, "I was not a runner and I was kind of overweight—maybe becoming a couch potato. He's got me in the best shape of my life and I just love to be out there competing with Rick. … Rick is a fighter and he never gives up. To me, he's the athlete and I'm just out there loaning him my arms and legs so that he can compete."

What does Rick want people to know? Rick is a graduate from Boston University with a degree in special education, and he even lives on his own. Through a special computer he is able to communicate his thoughts.

"Until my dad agreed to run that first race, I had no chance," Rick says through his computer. "My dad is my everything. He has made my dreams come true. To steal a line from a song, my dad is the 'wind beneath my wings.'"

Thank You

The heart is deceitful.

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Sometimes you thank someone not because you are truly grateful, but cos you don't want to owe anyone. Sometimes you do that to people, sometimes you do that to God. As if a "thank you" was enough... As if being at best behaviour was enough...

Isaiah 64:6 All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--
2:9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

Romans 3:24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Amazes Me (Christian City Church)

On my knees, I bow down
Sing about the healer & the hope I've found
You took my tears, took my shame
Washed them all away
Love shines down on this heart of mine
Lead me to the waters of eternal life
Once was lost, now I'm found
It's a brand new day
Your love, it amazes me
Your love, has lifted me
Higher than I can possibly dream
Your love amazes me
Hallelujah
Your love amazes me

So, sincerely from the bottom of my heart, Thank You Jesus, my saviour, my jiu(4) ming(4) en(1) ren(2), my benefactor and friend.

My Day In A Collage And A Song

Savior (Steven Curtis Chapman)

Well, who is this angry man I see

In the mirror looking back at me?

It’s a man who’s tired, a man who’s weak

And it’s a man who needs a Savior
And who is this fearful little child

Crying out for home, lost in the wild?

With a lonely heart that’s fading fast

It’s a child who needs a Savior

A child who needs a Savior
And what is this longing in my soul

That I get so scared and angry?

I need more than just a little help

I need someone who will save me

Come and save me

I need someone to save me

Who will save me? Come and save me
And who is this one nailed to a cross

Who would rather die than leave us lost?

He’s come to rescue us, come to set us free

Hallelujah, hallelujah

It is Christ the Lord…our Savior

Hatred For Self

I've heard this said by Dr Robin Smith a lot on the Oprah show. Dr Robin Smith is a renowned psychologist on the show. When drug abusers, people with extremely low self esteem or morbidly obese people are interviewed on the show, Dr Smith often proposes Hatred For Self as the root cause.

I've always thought what it's really like being in their shoes. How can someone hate himself? Why do they hate themselves? It's somewhat an ironical concept in a self-centred and selfish world.

I heard this again yesterday during Alan's sermon in the tertiary service.

Here's a copy of my notes:

How To Experience God's Transforming Power
1 Timothy 1:12-17

Alan Tea

1. Realize that God thinks the best of us.(v12)
-"the worst of sinners"
-God thinks the best of us, despite what we think about ourself
-1 Cor 1:26-30, Ps 139:13-16
-there are some whose survival is based on self praise, their confidence derived from the opinions of others on them
-sometimes things are meant for the HIGHER good

2. Accept that God wipes away our past.(v13)
-hardened criminals have died inside, they've lost the sense of guilt, chosen to ignore their conscience
-are we like that? Hardened? Chosen to ignore the Spirit?
-Isaiah 61:10, Lamentations 3:22-23
-if today you can accept that God has forgiven you, then you can start to accept yourself. If you find that you hate what you see inside, then you may not have accepted the fact that God has forgiven you
-Mat 19:19, you cannot love others like yourself if you don't love yourself to start with

3. Receive every good thing that God wants to give us.(v14)




It's funny, sometimes as Christians that we have not accepted the fact.

Being An Overseer

1 Peter

5:2 Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers--not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve;

5:3 not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.

5:4 And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

5:5 Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."†

5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

"not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be" Interesting... Who would willingly step up to this? Either someone who doesn't know what it takes or someone who considered the fruit worth all the heart break.

Truth is, we'll definitely get there.

"There" meaning:

Ephesians

4:13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

4:14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.

Question is, do I want to be involved in the process? Do I consider the benefits worth all the trouble?

5:4 And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

Food for thought...