RT Saga

About 2 months back, I was asked to report to CMPB for not taking my IPPT. It is an offence to not take IPPT. I did not take IPPT seriously as my brother has ORDed for a few years now without MINDEF calling him up. I tried the stunt as well. Didn’t train, didn’t take. After I reported to CMPB, I was asked to attend remedial training (RT). I didn’t think much of it at first cos I wanted to focus on my exams.

After exams and my holiday to Bangkok, I returned with a certain SIAN-ness… RT. Twice a week. Tuesdays 6pm, Sundays 8am. It certainly interrupted a lot of the things I wanted to do. Inconvenience is an understatement. I looked forward to the test at the end of phase 1 and thought to myself ok, just treat this as training for my own fitness. I hoped to clear the test so that I wouldn’t have to proceed to phase 2.

I failed the test at the end of phase 1 with a certain sense of disappointment. Phase 2, thrice a week. Tuesday 6pm, Thursday 6pm, Sunday 8am. Now, it really got on my nerves. It was so inconvenient. I tried to make the best of it, making new friends, taking training very seriously. I hoped to clear the first disruption test somewhere in the middle of phase 2.

Today was the test. I didn’t really have high hopes to pass as my arms were still a little tired. Just went up to the bar and tried. To my surprise, my training and personal chin up bar paid off. I managed to do 6. I was so happy. When I dismounted, I said YES! with a indescribable sense of relief. The rest of the stations were not a problem so I got a pass for this IPPT.

As I walked out of Bedok camp, a few scenes flashed across my mind. As I tried to link my thoughts together, I’ve learnt the lesson of the importance of hope.

Passing IPPT after 2 months of training really made me very happy. I felt ashamed at first to not be able to pass. But hope kept me going on. (Other than, of course, the possibility of being charged and thrown into DB for not taking RT)

Hope is very important. Hope makes all the difference. As I finished my 2.4km run, we waited for the entire detail to finish. The last guy was obese. He tried very hard, at least, he didn’t stop. We all clapped for him. At the bus stop, I really felt a sense of pity for those who failed. Some of them really gave their best. The look on that obese guy’s face made my heart sink. The feeling of spending all you have, feeling so tired and still failing the test really sucks. He looked extremely disappointed, and so did many other familiar faces at the bus stop. I heard some of them saying: ”At least there’s not much of phase 2 left”. Sometimes consolation is also a form of hope. Something to look forward to. In this case, the end of RT. The end of inconvenience. I can absolutely understand, though not identify with that particular obese guy. It must feel very cumbersome to have to leave the workplace at 5pm to attend RT. Perhaps he had work to finish. Perhaps his boss was not happy with having to release him early, thus not being able to finish his work. Perhaps his colleagues look at him differently. Perhaps he left feeling like a failure.

Amidst all these, I’ve come to understand what a vital role hope plays in our daily lives. Something to look forward to. A goal to reach. Perhaps, a consolation… Something to press on for. I can’t imagine how anyone can live without a regular dosage of hope.

Good Ol' Dayz

Can't even begin to describe how I feel...

Conviction

Platoon Outing, 11th December '06

What can I offer you other than the hope Christ offers? You are searching but you will never find when you search in all the wrong places. I wish I can give you an answer from the world but I know none.