The Crash From Within

I've been reading The Winning Attitude, a book written by John C. Maxwell. It was given to me by Tony on my birthday last year. He told me this was one of the few books that changed his life. Here are a few quotable quotes from Chapter 9, The Crash Within-The Fear Of Failure

There is no security on this earth. There is only opportunity. -Douglas MacArthur (don't ask me who he is)

Accepting failure in the positive sense becomes effective when you believe that the right to fail is as important as the right to succeed. -John C. Maxwell

It is impossible to succeed without suffering. If you are successful and have not suffered, someone has suffered for you and if you are suffering without succeeding, perhaps someone may succeed after you. But there is not success without suffering. -John C. Maxwell

But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, grow, feel, change, love, live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited freedom. -John C. Maxwell

Attitude is the determining factor of whether our failures make or break us. -John C. Maxwell

Recently, I've been wondering how powerful it'd be if I could just get past the fear of disappointment. I'd dare to try new things. It'd open up a whole new world of opportunities.

When It Looks Like I have Failed

Lord, are You trying to tell me something?
For...

Failure does not mean I'm a failure;
It does mean I have not yet succeeded.

Failure does not mean I have accomplished nothing;
It does mean I have learned something.

Failure does not mean I have been a fool;
It does mean I had enough faith to experiment.

Failure does not mean I've been disgraced;
It does mean I dared to try.

Failure does not mean I don't have it;
It does mean I have to do something in a different way.

Failure does not mean I am inferior;
It does mean I am not perfect.

Failure does not mean I should give up;
It does mean I must try harder.

Failure does not mean I'll never make it;
It does mean I need more patience.

Failure does not mean You have abandoned me;
It does mean You must have a better idea. Amen

Acts Of Righteousness

In the first half of Matthew 6, Jesus talks about giving, fasting and prayer. Activities that can cause us to display or give a certain impression about ourselves. Many times we are very concerned about our external appearance, how we may come across to people. Though this is important, it can sometimes mask the true self and its desires which is deep within. At the end of the day, God looks at our heart and its desires. So, are my "Acts of Righteousness" really an accurate reflection of a genuine desire to please God within? Forget about the acts for a while, and invite the Holy Spirit to evaluate the heart. Let there be integrity.

TWAM Worship Night

TWAM worship night was awesome. Long time never lead like that... I'm glad to hear the testimonies. "Just like the good 'ol days" uttered one brother after the session. Thank you Holy Spirit, for fellowshipping with us, renewing and re-strengthening us. Your Word never fails to encourage me. Thank You.

Latest Accomplishment

MONGSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy now, suffer later.

The Giver And The Gift

Romans 8:32

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

To understand the intention of the gift, you need to go to the giver. It's hard to imagine a gift without a card or any trace to it's giver. What do you do with it? What occasion calls for such a gift? Will you still use it without knowing the giver's intention or who the giver is?

Robbing God

“I the Lord do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your forefathers you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord Almighty. “But you ask, ‘How are we to return?’ “Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. “But you ask, ‘How do we rob you?’ “In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse-the whole nation of you-because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have enough room for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit,” says the Lord Almighty. “Then all nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the Lord Almighty.

Christmas '06

Market value down to 50%. Looks like a mouse doesn't he? So cute.

Wa Seh, wee u wits, Eugenes Armani Model. Market Value up 100%.

Ooo, Nice Pic!

Ghost Buster in the Toilet. This is such a precious pic :) Why am I holding a toilet roll?

Jesus

The song that captured my heart again this christmas. Jesus, my beautiful Savior. I adore You. Be exalted.

Beautiful Savior
Planet Shakers

Jesus, Beautiful Savior
God Of All Majesty, Risen King
Lamb Of God, Holy And Righteous
Blessed Redeemer, Bright Morning Star
All The Heavens Shout Your Praise
All Creation Bows To Worship You

How Wonderful
How Beautiful
Name Above Every Name
Exalted High
How Wonderful
How Beautiful
Jesus Your Name
Name Above Every Name Jesus

I Will Sing Forever
Jesus I love You
Jesus I love You
I Will Sing Forever

Jesus Beautiful Saviour



One thing I was reminded of this christmas. We should not lose sight of the supernatural.

The Joy Of Giving

In 2003, Oprah spent an entire year preparing for a filming to be done in South Africa. This episode was about Christmas. She wanted to let the children of Africa experience the joy of Christmas by holding huge celebrations where gifts were given to the children with each of their names printed on the boxes. The gifts were unique to each one as she wanted every single one of them to feel special. At the celebration there were game stations where the children could temporarily forget their troubles and BE children for once. You see, many of these children are ophans because their parents died of AIDS, which is hitting South Africa like a plague now. Many of them have to take care of sickly parents suffering from AIDS or other diseases. At each station, the staff were equipped with polaroid cameras to take polaroids of the child beside a christmas tree. She said something that stirred something within me. "For many of these children, this is the first picture ever taken of them."

You could see the joy on their faces. This little gal, whose mom passed away few months after she was conceived and was handed over to her grandma to be taken care of, could not smile because of all the trauma she had gone through. When Oprah gave her a pair of new shoes and fitted them in for her, she just let out a very natural smile. It's so nice to be able to give someone hope. It produces joy that's unspeakable. I want to experience the joy of giving. I don't need to be a millionaire to give. What have I to give then? Give me wisdom and show me how.

:)

RT Saga

About 2 months back, I was asked to report to CMPB for not taking my IPPT. It is an offence to not take IPPT. I did not take IPPT seriously as my brother has ORDed for a few years now without MINDEF calling him up. I tried the stunt as well. Didn’t train, didn’t take. After I reported to CMPB, I was asked to attend remedial training (RT). I didn’t think much of it at first cos I wanted to focus on my exams.

After exams and my holiday to Bangkok, I returned with a certain SIAN-ness… RT. Twice a week. Tuesdays 6pm, Sundays 8am. It certainly interrupted a lot of the things I wanted to do. Inconvenience is an understatement. I looked forward to the test at the end of phase 1 and thought to myself ok, just treat this as training for my own fitness. I hoped to clear the test so that I wouldn’t have to proceed to phase 2.

I failed the test at the end of phase 1 with a certain sense of disappointment. Phase 2, thrice a week. Tuesday 6pm, Thursday 6pm, Sunday 8am. Now, it really got on my nerves. It was so inconvenient. I tried to make the best of it, making new friends, taking training very seriously. I hoped to clear the first disruption test somewhere in the middle of phase 2.

Today was the test. I didn’t really have high hopes to pass as my arms were still a little tired. Just went up to the bar and tried. To my surprise, my training and personal chin up bar paid off. I managed to do 6. I was so happy. When I dismounted, I said YES! with a indescribable sense of relief. The rest of the stations were not a problem so I got a pass for this IPPT.

As I walked out of Bedok camp, a few scenes flashed across my mind. As I tried to link my thoughts together, I’ve learnt the lesson of the importance of hope.

Passing IPPT after 2 months of training really made me very happy. I felt ashamed at first to not be able to pass. But hope kept me going on. (Other than, of course, the possibility of being charged and thrown into DB for not taking RT)

Hope is very important. Hope makes all the difference. As I finished my 2.4km run, we waited for the entire detail to finish. The last guy was obese. He tried very hard, at least, he didn’t stop. We all clapped for him. At the bus stop, I really felt a sense of pity for those who failed. Some of them really gave their best. The look on that obese guy’s face made my heart sink. The feeling of spending all you have, feeling so tired and still failing the test really sucks. He looked extremely disappointed, and so did many other familiar faces at the bus stop. I heard some of them saying: ”At least there’s not much of phase 2 left”. Sometimes consolation is also a form of hope. Something to look forward to. In this case, the end of RT. The end of inconvenience. I can absolutely understand, though not identify with that particular obese guy. It must feel very cumbersome to have to leave the workplace at 5pm to attend RT. Perhaps he had work to finish. Perhaps his boss was not happy with having to release him early, thus not being able to finish his work. Perhaps his colleagues look at him differently. Perhaps he left feeling like a failure.

Amidst all these, I’ve come to understand what a vital role hope plays in our daily lives. Something to look forward to. A goal to reach. Perhaps, a consolation… Something to press on for. I can’t imagine how anyone can live without a regular dosage of hope.

Good Ol' Dayz

Can't even begin to describe how I feel...

Conviction

Platoon Outing, 11th December '06

What can I offer you other than the hope Christ offers? You are searching but you will never find when you search in all the wrong places. I wish I can give you an answer from the world but I know none.

Appetite

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

No Excuses

This is so inspiring.

http://www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200509/20050929/slide_20050929_284_201.jhtml

Habakkuk Tan

A rhema word from the Lord is life changing. Sometimes you know the truth but it gets a little tough applying when you don’t hear anything from God. In times like these, a rhema word that the Holy Spirit deposits in your heart just gives that assurance that yes, God is still in control.

Over the past couple o weeks I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the thoughts in my head. I’ve been thinking a lot about a lot of stuff. Being overwhelmed in my mind is a familiar feeling. It often happens. One thing I’d do to clear up the mess is to take long walks to just talk to God and put things in their proper place. However, the recent walks have not been fruitful. I often leave still overwhelmed.

Today, I read the book of Habakkuk. Habakkuk raised a lot of ‘Why’s. The headings for the book go like this…

1. Habakkuk’s Complaint.

2. The Lord’s Answer

3. Habakkuk’s Second Complaint

4. The Lord’s Answer

5. Habakkuk’s Prayer

In chapter 3, verse 2, under the heading “Habakkuk’s Prayer” he says:

“Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord.
Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.”

A certain sense of joy and hope just filled me when I read this. That in our complaint we still can remember who God is. That He doesn’t forget. That He listens even to the things unsaid. That we can still be pleasing to Him. That He still takes delight in us when we complain. That we still can choose to look upon His greatness and praise Him.

v17-19
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crops fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

Today is a beautiful day. The weather is awesome. The smell of rain is refreshing.

Grebfruit

Amazing drummer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tMudbrnO68&mode=related&search=

16 days

Finished my last paper on the 9th November and flew off to Bangkok that evening. It was a wonderful feeling to be on an aeroplane again. I couldn't even remember the last time I was on a plane. Maybe P4? Not sure also. But it was awesome. Found it very amusing how aeroplanes work.

Anyway, it was a smooth two and a half hour journey from Terminal 1 to the new Suvarnabhum Airport. The airport is huge. When we came out from the airport, I was pleasantly surprised to see the weather. It was not as warm and dusty as I heard it to be.

800 Baht cab fare. When we reached Samran Place to meet up with shirls, daniel and veron, we just left the cab in a hurry, forgetting we left our luggage in the boot. Thank God for that kind taxi driver who called us back to collect our luggage. Can't believe how careless we were. Maybe it's just excitement, then forget everything else liao. We met up with Ps Lawrence and Dr Pat who were staying at Asia Hotel, the hotel one street away, for supper. Ps Lawrence asked us how much we paid for the cab fare (shirls now chuckling away cheekily...) . He asked, 200 Baht?, then 400 Baht?! then, 600 BAHT?!?!?!?!?! At this, I knew we were tok-ed like mad. Anyway, my consolation at the very least is that we sat in a very comfy Nissan Cefiro for the 1hr ride. Lesson learnt!

We managed to get quite a good sleep cos the rehearsal for Power of Praise 4 was in the afternoon the next day at Huamark Indoor Stadium. I was looking forward to meeting a few friends. Ps Golf, Ps Tim, Ps Kahn, Ps Foye, Niyom and his worship team. Upon arrival, we were hosted by Ps Prayuth, Chin and Simon. When I first saw Simon, I thought to myself, hmm this guy looks really familiar. Then I remembered. I met him many yrs ago at KAPT when he visited our worship team in sunday service. I was still serving in adults group then. It was good to see him still around and serving God faithfully and powerfully. It made me want to hang in there and continue to add to the worship team in Hope Singapore. We got to meet and talk to many musicians and singers. O man they really have a large pool of talent. So many bands, so many musicians involved. Many of them were pursuing a degree in music. Their orchestra was impressive. Got small boys and gals playing violin one. O they play well too by the way. Really exciting.

Sound check. We were talking among ourselves when suddenly this sax player did soundcheck for his instrument. Wa, all our heads turned. Speechless. He played "Forever In Love" by Kenny G. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice. I wish I was their soundman hahahaha. O anyway, the soundman they hired was the best soundman in thailand, according to their stage manager. During evaluation together with the contractors and vendors, could see the Hope Bangkok people really had great relationship with even the external contractors. Could see the soundman enjoy working with them. Veron asked one of the keyboardists, is the sound guy from Hope, the keyboardist replied no, he's not, but after Power of Praise 4, he will be! Amen to that!

After sound check we had the opportunity to lunch with Ps Prayuth, Chin and Simon. It was a Q&A session. Ps Prayuth and team really cleared up a lot of thoughts that have been floating around in my mind for a long long time. CHOP CHOP CHOP



POP 4. Bumped into Ps Foye at entrance. Seems to have put on weight. I think he was busy so no time to chat, only got to shake hands with him. Anyway, POP was a blast. Simon's pnw leading was so powerful and dynamic. I really admire him. Such a confident, loving, fun-loving, humble, normal-guy kinda leader. Normal-guy leaders like him never fail to inspire me. I love being around these people. First worship song, tear like nothing, all of us. haha it was so bad that I dun wanna open my eyes to sing the english lyrics for a while and just soak in the presence of God, otherwise flooded liao. Wat a touching song. One question that kept coming to me during that time was, How? How could I forget His mercy? How could I not love You Lord? How can I not give my life to You? All of us talked about that song after the concert. Hope we can use it for christmas! I just pray that You will give whoever translates it wisdom!

At night, we went to Suan Lum to shop. Got some gifts for certain people. Was quite a nice place to shop compared to Chatuchak. I reach the entrance I dun feel like shopping liao. Anyway, the next afternoon, Dan, Ron and Shuz went to shop at Chatuchak, Shirls, Ethan and I chose to go to Siam Paragon to slack. Took some amusing photos then went to Starbux to sit down and talk. It was a great talk. Talk talk talk talk talk. It was an unexpectedly fruitful sharing as we learnt abt each other's highest highs and lowest lows in our spiritual life. Shirls' one was quite interesting. Highest high and lowest low happened at the same time. Shirls is another normal-guy kinda leader I really look up to (normal-gal I meant). Although technically speaking she looks up to me cos i'm taller :P

One of the nights, I can't rem which one already (STM), we celebrated Daniel's birthday. Wa it was so fun lor! Can b my highest high liao. hahahaha! We joked that that night was probably Dan's lowest low. It was his birthday bash. Literally. We ambushed him and he actually thought he got the better of us by tricking us. We bashed him up anyway. The gals whacked him with pillows, ethan sat on him, i took his belt to tie his legs at his ankles upon shirls' command and shirls proceeded to pull his leg hair while i held his legs down with the belt. So fun! We affirmed him next. I'm glad to have him as a buddy.

Many other things happened. Got to meet Ps Tim on the 2nd last day. Met Ps Golf, Niyom and a few others. One thing i'd like to remember here was my time alone and away from the hope singaporeans for one evening and a morning. I had to extend my hotel stay another night cos my flight was on 13th. Had trouble extending. Called Ps Golf. He hooked me up with Niyom who in turn got Brother Noom, his sheep to get me a place to sleep and to take care of me. He could not do it himself cos he had to fly off early the next morning and a wake to visit that night. They were really warm. Dion kept telling Noom, Take good care of him!! It felt like family though i've only known these people for a short while. I love Hope family. 5 people brought me to the place i was to sleep at that night. Noom, Chuzpa, Ople, Waew and Toy. We reached Lat Phrao abt one hr later. It was Niyom's studio. Horizon studio. Was a nice place. Got drums! Anyway, they paid for the cab fare and my dinner. After dinner, the gals went back to the studio to cut vegetables. I asked wat's this for? Why at this hour? Chuzpa replied this is for the church building fund. Chuzpa and Waew have been cooking and selling food on the street right outside the studio everyday for church building fund. They'd do so from 7am till 9am then at 930 they have a worship together then they start working at the studio. I was so touched by their heart for God. I served together with them, cutting the vegetables together that night and made it a point to serve together with them in the morning too. I knew it would be a learning experience and was right. I beat the eggs and chuzpa would fry the eggs. Waew helped to pack the rice. It was awesome. Their heart for God was so simple. There was faith and sincerest joy in serving the Lord. I was so happy to serve God together with them. LOVE IT!

Noom sent me to Klong Toei train station to take a cab to the airport. On the plane I was super tired but couldn't sleep cos my mind was so filled with the experiences in Bangkok. I want to serve You and know You more. Obstacles are still there, help me to have an objective mindset and take one step at a time. I want to serve You with joy. San Sen Prachau!

Tommy Emannuel

Check these out! Inhuman. Maestro.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adfEjIZpqNE&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZNJf-h7F8s