About 2 months back, I was asked to report to CMPB for not taking my IPPT. It is an offence to not take IPPT. I did not take IPPT seriously as my brother has ORDed for a few years now without MINDEF calling him up. I tried the stunt as well. Didn’t train, didn’t take. After I reported to CMPB, I was asked to attend remedial training (RT). I didn’t think much of it at first cos I wanted to focus on my exams.
After exams and my holiday to Bangkok, I returned with a certain SIAN-ness… RT. Twice a week. Tuesdays 6pm, Sundays 8am. It certainly interrupted a lot of the things I wanted to do. Inconvenience is an understatement. I looked forward to the test at the end of phase 1 and thought to myself ok, just treat this as training for my own fitness. I hoped to clear the test so that I wouldn’t have to proceed to phase 2.
I failed the test at the end of phase 1 with a certain sense of disappointment. Phase 2, thrice a week. Tuesday 6pm, Thursday 6pm, Sunday 8am. Now, it really got on my nerves. It was so inconvenient. I tried to make the best of it, making new friends, taking training very seriously. I hoped to clear the first disruption test somewhere in the middle of phase 2.
Today was the test. I didn’t really have high hopes to pass as my arms were still a little tired. Just went up to the bar and tried. To my surprise, my training and personal chin up bar paid off. I managed to do 6. I was so happy. When I dismounted, I said YES! with a indescribable sense of relief. The rest of the stations were not a problem so I got a pass for this IPPT.
As I walked out of Bedok camp, a few scenes flashed across my mind. As I tried to link my thoughts together, I’ve learnt the lesson of the importance of hope.
Passing IPPT after 2 months of training really made me very happy. I felt ashamed at first to not be able to pass. But hope kept me going on. (Other than, of course, the possibility of being charged and thrown into DB for not taking RT)
Hope is very important. Hope makes all the difference. As I finished my 2.4km run, we waited for the entire detail to finish. The last guy was obese. He tried very hard, at least, he didn’t stop. We all clapped for him. At the bus stop, I really felt a sense of pity for those who failed. Some of them really gave their best. The look on that obese guy’s face made my heart sink. The feeling of spending all you have, feeling so tired and still failing the test really sucks. He looked extremely disappointed, and so did many other familiar faces at the bus stop. I heard some of them saying: ”At least there’s not much of phase 2 left”. Sometimes consolation is also a form of hope. Something to look forward to. In this case, the end of RT. The end of inconvenience. I can absolutely understand, though not identify with that particular obese guy. It must feel very cumbersome to have to leave the workplace at 5pm to attend RT. Perhaps he had work to finish. Perhaps his boss was not happy with having to release him early, thus not being able to finish his work. Perhaps his colleagues look at him differently. Perhaps he left feeling like a failure.
Amidst all these, I’ve come to understand what a vital role hope plays in our daily lives. Something to look forward to. A goal to reach. Perhaps, a consolation… Something to press on for. I can’t imagine how anyone can live without a regular dosage of hope.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Conviction
Platoon Outing, 11th December '06What can I offer you other than the hope Christ offers? You are searching but you will never find when you search in all the wrong places. I wish I can give you an answer from the world but I know none.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Appetite
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Habakkuk Tan
A rhema word from the Lord is life changing. Sometimes you know the truth but it gets a little tough applying when you don’t hear anything from God. In times like these, a rhema word that the Holy Spirit deposits in your heart just gives that assurance that yes, God is still in control.
Over the past couple o weeks I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the thoughts in my head. I’ve been thinking a lot about a lot of stuff. Being overwhelmed in my mind is a familiar feeling. It often happens. One thing I’d do to clear up the mess is to take long walks to just talk to God and put things in their proper place. However, the recent walks have not been fruitful. I often leave still overwhelmed.
Today, I read the book of Habakkuk. Habakkuk raised a lot of ‘Why’s. The headings for the book go like this…
1. Habakkuk’s Complaint.
2. The Lord’s Answer
3. Habakkuk’s Second Complaint
4. The Lord’s Answer
5. Habakkuk’s Prayer
In chapter 3, verse 2, under the heading “Habakkuk’s Prayer” he says:
“Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord.
Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.”
A certain sense of joy and hope just filled me when I read this. That in our complaint we still can remember who God is. That He doesn’t forget. That He listens even to the things unsaid. That we can still be pleasing to Him. That He still takes delight in us when we complain. That we still can choose to look upon His greatness and praise Him.
v17-19
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crops fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.
Today is a beautiful day. The weather is awesome. The smell of rain is refreshing.
Over the past couple o weeks I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the thoughts in my head. I’ve been thinking a lot about a lot of stuff. Being overwhelmed in my mind is a familiar feeling. It often happens. One thing I’d do to clear up the mess is to take long walks to just talk to God and put things in their proper place. However, the recent walks have not been fruitful. I often leave still overwhelmed.
Today, I read the book of Habakkuk. Habakkuk raised a lot of ‘Why’s. The headings for the book go like this…
1. Habakkuk’s Complaint.
2. The Lord’s Answer
3. Habakkuk’s Second Complaint
4. The Lord’s Answer
5. Habakkuk’s Prayer
In chapter 3, verse 2, under the heading “Habakkuk’s Prayer” he says:
“Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord.
Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.”
A certain sense of joy and hope just filled me when I read this. That in our complaint we still can remember who God is. That He doesn’t forget. That He listens even to the things unsaid. That we can still be pleasing to Him. That He still takes delight in us when we complain. That we still can choose to look upon His greatness and praise Him.
v17-19
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crops fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.
Today is a beautiful day. The weather is awesome. The smell of rain is refreshing.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
16 days
Finished my last paper on the 9th November and flew off to Bangkok that evening. It was a wonderful feeling to be on an aeroplane again. I couldn't even remember the last time I was on a plane. Maybe P4? Not sure also. But it was awesome. Found it very amusing how aeroplanes work.
Anyway, it was a smooth two and a half hour journey from Terminal 1 to the new Suvarnabhum Airport. The airport is huge. When we came out from the airport, I was pleasantly surprised to see the weather. It was not as warm and dusty as I heard it to be.
800 Baht cab fare. When we reached Samran Place to meet up with shirls, daniel and veron, we just left the cab in a hurry, forgetting we left our luggage in the boot. Thank God for that kind taxi driver who called us back to collect our luggage. Can't believe how careless we were. Maybe it's just excitement, then forget everything else liao. We met up with Ps Lawrence and Dr Pat who were staying at Asia Hotel, the hotel one street away, for supper. Ps Lawrence asked us how much we paid for the cab fare (shirls now chuckling away cheekily...) . He asked, 200 Baht?, then 400 Baht?! then, 600 BAHT?!?!?!?!?! At this, I knew we were tok-ed like mad. Anyway, my consolation at the very least is that we sat in a very comfy Nissan Cefiro for the 1hr ride. Lesson learnt!
We managed to get quite a good sleep cos the rehearsal for Power of Praise 4 was in the afternoon the next day at Huamark Indoor Stadium. I was looking forward to meeting a few friends. Ps Golf, Ps Tim, Ps Kahn, Ps Foye, Niyom and his worship team. Upon arrival, we were hosted by Ps Prayuth, Chin and Simon. When I first saw Simon, I thought to myself, hmm this guy looks really familiar. Then I remembered. I met him many yrs ago at KAPT when he visited our worship team in sunday service. I was still serving in adults group then. It was good to see him still around and serving God faithfully and powerfully. It made me want to hang in there and continue to add to the worship team in Hope Singapore. We got to meet and talk to many musicians and singers. O man they really have a large pool of talent. So many bands, so many musicians involved. Many of them were pursuing a degree in music. Their orchestra was impressive. Got small boys and gals playing violin one. O they play well too by the way. Really exciting.
Sound check. We were talking among ourselves when suddenly this sax player did soundcheck for his instrument. Wa, all our heads turned. Speechless. He played "Forever In Love" by Kenny G. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice. I wish I was their soundman hahahaha. O anyway, the soundman they hired was the best soundman in thailand, according to their stage manager. During evaluation together with the contractors and vendors, could see the Hope Bangkok people really had great relationship with even the external contractors. Could see the soundman enjoy working with them. Veron asked one of the keyboardists, is the sound guy from Hope, the keyboardist replied no, he's not, but after Power of Praise 4, he will be! Amen to that!
After sound check we had the opportunity to lunch with Ps Prayuth, Chin and Simon. It was a Q&A session. Ps Prayuth and team really cleared up a lot of thoughts that have been floating around in my mind for a long long time. CHOP CHOP CHOP
POP 4. Bumped into Ps Foye at entrance. Seems to have put on weight. I think he was busy so no time to chat, only got to shake hands with him. Anyway, POP was a blast. Simon's pnw leading was so powerful and dynamic. I really admire him. Such a confident, loving, fun-loving, humble, normal-guy kinda leader. Normal-guy leaders like him never fail to inspire me. I love being around these people. First worship song, tear like nothing, all of us. haha it was so bad that I dun wanna open my eyes to sing the english lyrics for a while and just soak in the presence of God, otherwise flooded liao. Wat a touching song. One question that kept coming to me during that time was, How? How could I forget His mercy? How could I not love You Lord? How can I not give my life to You? All of us talked about that song after the concert. Hope we can use it for christmas! I just pray that You will give whoever translates it wisdom!
At night, we went to Suan Lum to shop. Got some gifts for certain people. Was quite a nice place to shop compared to Chatuchak. I reach the entrance I dun feel like shopping liao. Anyway, the next afternoon, Dan, Ron and Shuz went to shop at Chatuchak, Shirls, Ethan and I chose to go to Siam Paragon to slack. Took some amusing photos then went to Starbux to sit down and talk. It was a great talk. Talk talk talk talk talk. It was an unexpectedly fruitful sharing as we learnt abt each other's highest highs and lowest lows in our spiritual life. Shirls' one was quite interesting. Highest high and lowest low happened at the same time. Shirls is another normal-guy kinda leader I really look up to (normal-gal I meant). Although technically speaking she looks up to me cos i'm taller :P
One of the nights, I can't rem which one already (STM), we celebrated Daniel's birthday. Wa it was so fun lor! Can b my highest high liao. hahahaha! We joked that that night was probably Dan's lowest low. It was his birthday bash. Literally. We ambushed him and he actually thought he got the better of us by tricking us. We bashed him up anyway. The gals whacked him with pillows, ethan sat on him, i took his belt to tie his legs at his ankles upon shirls' command and shirls proceeded to pull his leg hair while i held his legs down with the belt. So fun! We affirmed him next. I'm glad to have him as a buddy.
Many other things happened. Got to meet Ps Tim on the 2nd last day. Met Ps Golf, Niyom and a few others. One thing i'd like to remember here was my time alone and away from the hope singaporeans for one evening and a morning. I had to extend my hotel stay another night cos my flight was on 13th. Had trouble extending. Called Ps Golf. He hooked me up with Niyom who in turn got Brother Noom, his sheep to get me a place to sleep and to take care of me. He could not do it himself cos he had to fly off early the next morning and a wake to visit that night. They were really warm. Dion kept telling Noom, Take good care of him!! It felt like family though i've only known these people for a short while. I love Hope family. 5 people brought me to the place i was to sleep at that night. Noom, Chuzpa, Ople, Waew and Toy. We reached Lat Phrao abt one hr later. It was Niyom's studio. Horizon studio. Was a nice place. Got drums! Anyway, they paid for the cab fare and my dinner. After dinner, the gals went back to the studio to cut vegetables. I asked wat's this for? Why at this hour? Chuzpa replied this is for the church building fund. Chuzpa and Waew have been cooking and selling food on the street right outside the studio everyday for church building fund. They'd do so from 7am till 9am then at 930 they have a worship together then they start working at the studio. I was so touched by their heart for God. I served together with them, cutting the vegetables together that night and made it a point to serve together with them in the morning too. I knew it would be a learning experience and was right. I beat the eggs and chuzpa would fry the eggs. Waew helped to pack the rice. It was awesome. Their heart for God was so simple. There was faith and sincerest joy in serving the Lord. I was so happy to serve God together with them. LOVE IT!
Noom sent me to Klong Toei train station to take a cab to the airport. On the plane I was super tired but couldn't sleep cos my mind was so filled with the experiences in Bangkok. I want to serve You and know You more. Obstacles are still there, help me to have an objective mindset and take one step at a time. I want to serve You with joy. San Sen Prachau!
Anyway, it was a smooth two and a half hour journey from Terminal 1 to the new Suvarnabhum Airport. The airport is huge. When we came out from the airport, I was pleasantly surprised to see the weather. It was not as warm and dusty as I heard it to be.
800 Baht cab fare. When we reached Samran Place to meet up with shirls, daniel and veron, we just left the cab in a hurry, forgetting we left our luggage in the boot. Thank God for that kind taxi driver who called us back to collect our luggage. Can't believe how careless we were. Maybe it's just excitement, then forget everything else liao. We met up with Ps Lawrence and Dr Pat who were staying at Asia Hotel, the hotel one street away, for supper. Ps Lawrence asked us how much we paid for the cab fare (shirls now chuckling away cheekily...) . He asked, 200 Baht?, then 400 Baht?! then, 600 BAHT?!?!?!?!?! At this, I knew we were tok-ed like mad. Anyway, my consolation at the very least is that we sat in a very comfy Nissan Cefiro for the 1hr ride. Lesson learnt!
We managed to get quite a good sleep cos the rehearsal for Power of Praise 4 was in the afternoon the next day at Huamark Indoor Stadium. I was looking forward to meeting a few friends. Ps Golf, Ps Tim, Ps Kahn, Ps Foye, Niyom and his worship team. Upon arrival, we were hosted by Ps Prayuth, Chin and Simon. When I first saw Simon, I thought to myself, hmm this guy looks really familiar. Then I remembered. I met him many yrs ago at KAPT when he visited our worship team in sunday service. I was still serving in adults group then. It was good to see him still around and serving God faithfully and powerfully. It made me want to hang in there and continue to add to the worship team in Hope Singapore. We got to meet and talk to many musicians and singers. O man they really have a large pool of talent. So many bands, so many musicians involved. Many of them were pursuing a degree in music. Their orchestra was impressive. Got small boys and gals playing violin one. O they play well too by the way. Really exciting.
Sound check. We were talking among ourselves when suddenly this sax player did soundcheck for his instrument. Wa, all our heads turned. Speechless. He played "Forever In Love" by Kenny G. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice. I wish I was their soundman hahahaha. O anyway, the soundman they hired was the best soundman in thailand, according to their stage manager. During evaluation together with the contractors and vendors, could see the Hope Bangkok people really had great relationship with even the external contractors. Could see the soundman enjoy working with them. Veron asked one of the keyboardists, is the sound guy from Hope, the keyboardist replied no, he's not, but after Power of Praise 4, he will be! Amen to that!
After sound check we had the opportunity to lunch with Ps Prayuth, Chin and Simon. It was a Q&A session. Ps Prayuth and team really cleared up a lot of thoughts that have been floating around in my mind for a long long time. CHOP CHOP CHOP
POP 4. Bumped into Ps Foye at entrance. Seems to have put on weight. I think he was busy so no time to chat, only got to shake hands with him. Anyway, POP was a blast. Simon's pnw leading was so powerful and dynamic. I really admire him. Such a confident, loving, fun-loving, humble, normal-guy kinda leader. Normal-guy leaders like him never fail to inspire me. I love being around these people. First worship song, tear like nothing, all of us. haha it was so bad that I dun wanna open my eyes to sing the english lyrics for a while and just soak in the presence of God, otherwise flooded liao. Wat a touching song. One question that kept coming to me during that time was, How? How could I forget His mercy? How could I not love You Lord? How can I not give my life to You? All of us talked about that song after the concert. Hope we can use it for christmas! I just pray that You will give whoever translates it wisdom!
At night, we went to Suan Lum to shop. Got some gifts for certain people. Was quite a nice place to shop compared to Chatuchak. I reach the entrance I dun feel like shopping liao. Anyway, the next afternoon, Dan, Ron and Shuz went to shop at Chatuchak, Shirls, Ethan and I chose to go to Siam Paragon to slack. Took some amusing photos then went to Starbux to sit down and talk. It was a great talk. Talk talk talk talk talk. It was an unexpectedly fruitful sharing as we learnt abt each other's highest highs and lowest lows in our spiritual life. Shirls' one was quite interesting. Highest high and lowest low happened at the same time. Shirls is another normal-guy kinda leader I really look up to (normal-gal I meant). Although technically speaking she looks up to me cos i'm taller :P
One of the nights, I can't rem which one already (STM), we celebrated Daniel's birthday. Wa it was so fun lor! Can b my highest high liao. hahahaha! We joked that that night was probably Dan's lowest low. It was his birthday bash. Literally. We ambushed him and he actually thought he got the better of us by tricking us. We bashed him up anyway. The gals whacked him with pillows, ethan sat on him, i took his belt to tie his legs at his ankles upon shirls' command and shirls proceeded to pull his leg hair while i held his legs down with the belt. So fun! We affirmed him next. I'm glad to have him as a buddy.
Many other things happened. Got to meet Ps Tim on the 2nd last day. Met Ps Golf, Niyom and a few others. One thing i'd like to remember here was my time alone and away from the hope singaporeans for one evening and a morning. I had to extend my hotel stay another night cos my flight was on 13th. Had trouble extending. Called Ps Golf. He hooked me up with Niyom who in turn got Brother Noom, his sheep to get me a place to sleep and to take care of me. He could not do it himself cos he had to fly off early the next morning and a wake to visit that night. They were really warm. Dion kept telling Noom, Take good care of him!! It felt like family though i've only known these people for a short while. I love Hope family. 5 people brought me to the place i was to sleep at that night. Noom, Chuzpa, Ople, Waew and Toy. We reached Lat Phrao abt one hr later. It was Niyom's studio. Horizon studio. Was a nice place. Got drums! Anyway, they paid for the cab fare and my dinner. After dinner, the gals went back to the studio to cut vegetables. I asked wat's this for? Why at this hour? Chuzpa replied this is for the church building fund. Chuzpa and Waew have been cooking and selling food on the street right outside the studio everyday for church building fund. They'd do so from 7am till 9am then at 930 they have a worship together then they start working at the studio. I was so touched by their heart for God. I served together with them, cutting the vegetables together that night and made it a point to serve together with them in the morning too. I knew it would be a learning experience and was right. I beat the eggs and chuzpa would fry the eggs. Waew helped to pack the rice. It was awesome. Their heart for God was so simple. There was faith and sincerest joy in serving the Lord. I was so happy to serve God together with them. LOVE IT!
Noom sent me to Klong Toei train station to take a cab to the airport. On the plane I was super tired but couldn't sleep cos my mind was so filled with the experiences in Bangkok. I want to serve You and know You more. Obstacles are still there, help me to have an objective mindset and take one step at a time. I want to serve You with joy. San Sen Prachau!
Friday, November 03, 2006
Tommy Emannuel
Check these out! Inhuman. Maestro.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adfEjIZpqNE&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZNJf-h7F8s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adfEjIZpqNE&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZNJf-h7F8s
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Expectations
I watched Oprah today. The episode was about the drop out rate in america. Something caught my attention:
Poorly trained workers and high school dropouts are products of the "cycle of low expectations" in America's public schools, Russlynn says. "Students rise to expectations, and they fall to expectations."
Russlynn Ali is a director of some kinda program that aims to improve the american education system. I find what she said very true. Self motivation aside, if expectations of me are easily within my reach, I tend to merely reach and get it over and done with. This is because by setting a low expectation, you are kinda telling me "Yes, this is enough". That snuffs out the need for growth. If however, expectations are set high, I would always be on the path of learning and growing until I reach that expectation. Of course, to keep growing and learning, the expectations would always have to be renewed once it has been achieved. In this case, expectations have to be met, simply because you will not get to college if you don't meet the expectations.
Things are different in real life. No one is obligated to set an expectation for you. If we have people who are kind enough to nudge us out of our comfort zone to grow, it's a bonus. If we don't, it's normal.
What do I expect from myself? Am I ready to account for what was given to me?
Poorly trained workers and high school dropouts are products of the "cycle of low expectations" in America's public schools, Russlynn says. "Students rise to expectations, and they fall to expectations."
Russlynn Ali is a director of some kinda program that aims to improve the american education system. I find what she said very true. Self motivation aside, if expectations of me are easily within my reach, I tend to merely reach and get it over and done with. This is because by setting a low expectation, you are kinda telling me "Yes, this is enough". That snuffs out the need for growth. If however, expectations are set high, I would always be on the path of learning and growing until I reach that expectation. Of course, to keep growing and learning, the expectations would always have to be renewed once it has been achieved. In this case, expectations have to be met, simply because you will not get to college if you don't meet the expectations.
Things are different in real life. No one is obligated to set an expectation for you. If we have people who are kind enough to nudge us out of our comfort zone to grow, it's a bonus. If we don't, it's normal.
What do I expect from myself? Am I ready to account for what was given to me?
Monday, October 30, 2006
Oh Ting Kui
The most craziestest guitarist me have ever met:
http://misterbenster.blogspot.com/
Introducing Benjamin Oh Ting Kui. Friends since like dunnoe when. P3? Not sure. Dominating teachers since 1997. Caught up with him after his slip disc operation. Not sure if you know anything about guitar, but if you do, you will realise after visiting his blog he's quite disgustingly unbelieavably rich. LOL! He's THE CHICKEN RICE PRINCE. Waiting to take over a chicken rice empire. Hahaa. Had a great time with him last friday. Was a great time, he brought me to his new char kuey tiao stall. I dare say that was the healthiest tastiest char kuey tiao I have ever eaten. He's just one of those friends I feel totally at ease with. Someone I would look forward to meeting every time. Looking forward to more hang out sessions!
http://misterbenster.blogspot.com/
Introducing Benjamin Oh Ting Kui. Friends since like dunnoe when. P3? Not sure. Dominating teachers since 1997. Caught up with him after his slip disc operation. Not sure if you know anything about guitar, but if you do, you will realise after visiting his blog he's quite disgustingly unbelieavably rich. LOL! He's THE CHICKEN RICE PRINCE. Waiting to take over a chicken rice empire. Hahaa. Had a great time with him last friday. Was a great time, he brought me to his new char kuey tiao stall. I dare say that was the healthiest tastiest char kuey tiao I have ever eaten. He's just one of those friends I feel totally at ease with. Someone I would look forward to meeting every time. Looking forward to more hang out sessions!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
From The Outside
Today I was just humming this song in my head. "A broken spirit and a contrite heart, you will not despise, you will not despise, you desire truth in the inmost parts, a broken spirit and a contrite heart".
What does it mean to have truth in the inmost parts? When God sees my heart, will He smile? Inmost parts suggest something that's very deep, something that's very natural, something at the core of my being. When I examine my heart, I dare not say I understand it well, it is afterall still deceitful above all else. What are the desires at the core of my being? Is my outter behaviour an appropriate reflection of what's really at the core of my being?
I remember I once watched an oprah winfrey show about parenting. She said, it really doesn't matter much that you tell your children how much you love them, the real question should be, do your eyes sparkle when they enter the room? I was thinking why I remembered this. It hints something surfacing naturally from deep within. As I was pondering, I walked past the old woman at the front of centerpoint. When I look at her, compassion fills me. Most times, she stares into thin air waiting for someone to buy her tissues. She looks frail and that really stirs something within me. It was something that overflowed from my inmost being. Something that overwhelms, something natural. Something I don't need to remind myself of. I don't need to tell myself hey, you should have compassion on her. It just happens naturally. Something from my inmost being.
So, does my inmost being really say the same things as my outter person is saying? When I say, God I love you, is that really consistent to my inmost being? How wonderful it must be if in my inmost being I really love God. If in my inmost being, there was integrity and consistency, nevermind what I say, Jesus taught us to pay attention to the inside of the cup, not the external appearance. From today onwards, I want to pay more attention to my inmost being. Integrity and Consistency.
What does it mean to have truth in the inmost parts? When God sees my heart, will He smile? Inmost parts suggest something that's very deep, something that's very natural, something at the core of my being. When I examine my heart, I dare not say I understand it well, it is afterall still deceitful above all else. What are the desires at the core of my being? Is my outter behaviour an appropriate reflection of what's really at the core of my being?
I remember I once watched an oprah winfrey show about parenting. She said, it really doesn't matter much that you tell your children how much you love them, the real question should be, do your eyes sparkle when they enter the room? I was thinking why I remembered this. It hints something surfacing naturally from deep within. As I was pondering, I walked past the old woman at the front of centerpoint. When I look at her, compassion fills me. Most times, she stares into thin air waiting for someone to buy her tissues. She looks frail and that really stirs something within me. It was something that overflowed from my inmost being. Something that overwhelms, something natural. Something I don't need to remind myself of. I don't need to tell myself hey, you should have compassion on her. It just happens naturally. Something from my inmost being.
So, does my inmost being really say the same things as my outter person is saying? When I say, God I love you, is that really consistent to my inmost being? How wonderful it must be if in my inmost being I really love God. If in my inmost being, there was integrity and consistency, nevermind what I say, Jesus taught us to pay attention to the inside of the cup, not the external appearance. From today onwards, I want to pay more attention to my inmost being. Integrity and Consistency.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Random Thoughts
Hahahaha!!! Since Veron is on an ego trip, let me say something about her as well, to add on to the 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 other encouraging blog entries about her. Here I go, Veron is an incredibly hard working ministry leader. She really puts her heart into all that she does. Occasionally struggle, but very dong si. Give her time and she'll sort things out. Someone who really loves the Lord. Someone who shines in school as well. She's not like many other gals her age. Mature beyond her years. Someone who is teachable, someone who is humble to serve others. Someone who is understanding and someone who really cares about her friends. They say love is in the details. She's someone who observes the likes and dislikes of her friends. So Veron, keep it up. You're a great example and inspiration to us all. 1 Tim 4:12 :)
On a side note, have been thinking about love. Not the romantic kind. It's amazing how many very complicated things actually boil down to something very simple, something that has to be left unsaid. I'm starting to understand 1 Corinthians 13:13 more. Many things could have been made less fuzzy if we said it out loud, but if we did, then it loses all it's meaning.
On a side note, have been thinking about love. Not the romantic kind. It's amazing how many very complicated things actually boil down to something very simple, something that has to be left unsaid. I'm starting to understand 1 Corinthians 13:13 more. Many things could have been made less fuzzy if we said it out loud, but if we did, then it loses all it's meaning.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
BBQ
Nothing beats great fellowship over great food. Today I had Seng, Davin , Eugene and Hendra come over for BBQ. At first the 30 bucks for the pit was a bit steep considering we pay $294 per quarter for facilities in the condo. Saw the pit today and was quite glad cos at least they provided a good pit, electronic one, don't need to fan, don't need charcoal. Very convenient, very fast. We bought beef steaks, lamb steak, german sausages, clams, mussels and some beer. The amount I had to pay was well worth it because of the company I enjoyed.
Thanks guys for taking time out. It's important to see the value of investing time with each other. I'm so looking forward for the next time we get to hang out again. Thanks Seng for serving us. Thank you Father for bringing us together.
Thanks guys for taking time out. It's important to see the value of investing time with each other. I'm so looking forward for the next time we get to hang out again. Thanks Seng for serving us. Thank you Father for bringing us together.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Thanksgiving
Watched Anatomy of a Formula One Team on discovery channel couple o days back. The program featured Toyota's F1 team, from the drivers to the people who fill the oil tank at pit stops. The cars were awesome. A fraction of a second was worth all the work because a fraction is all it takes to seperate the winner from the second place. The engineers were working on a front wing that would shave off fractions of a second. So much work and precision. Anyway, some interesting things I got from the show. Check this out:
http://www.toyota.co.jp/en/vision/traditions/index.html
In their philosophy, they aim to create an environment where the employees are not fearful to make mistakes. On the contrary, mistakes were viewed as opportunities for improvement. I think they call this kanban or kaizen. Something like that. Very interesting.
Check out "Ask "Why?" five times about every matter".
Anyway, God is good, sometimes He provides even before I really ask in prayer. Hatiku Percaya! Here I come NBC!
http://www.toyota.co.jp/en/vision/traditions/index.html
In their philosophy, they aim to create an environment where the employees are not fearful to make mistakes. On the contrary, mistakes were viewed as opportunities for improvement. I think they call this kanban or kaizen. Something like that. Very interesting.
Check out "Ask "Why?" five times about every matter".
Anyway, God is good, sometimes He provides even before I really ask in prayer. Hatiku Percaya! Here I come NBC!
Monday, October 16, 2006
8/10/06-15/10/06
Spent a lot of time the past week on assignments. Handed one in on Friday. Another to be handed up later. Anyway, was hungry cos of early dinner so i decided to drive out to changi village for a meal around 1245am. Realised i had no money in wallet so i drove to loyang point to draw before heading to changi village. I stopped the car, switched off the engine and head lights. Then i noticed a man coming out from behind the bushes. I observed him a while and he started walking towards me right after he emerged from behind the bushes. He seems to be in a daze and was barefooted. I strapped on the seat belt and turned on the engine to drive off without drawing cash. Thank God i managed to move off before he came close enough. Creepy.
One thing i've been thinking of all week. Something Pastor Jeff mentioned in his sermon. We'll never be able to solve problems at the same level of the problems. We need to rise above, then approach the problem again. Rising above reminds me of the word. When was the last time i responded? Many times i take the truth in and struggle with it. But very few times do i actually choose to respond in faith. Knowing the truth without responding to it is pointless.
One thing i've been thinking of all week. Something Pastor Jeff mentioned in his sermon. We'll never be able to solve problems at the same level of the problems. We need to rise above, then approach the problem again. Rising above reminds me of the word. When was the last time i responded? Many times i take the truth in and struggle with it. But very few times do i actually choose to respond in faith. Knowing the truth without responding to it is pointless.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
130
When I woke today, felt a weird sensation in my throat. Knew it was coming. The last time Singapore experienced haze, I fell ill too. Looked out of the window and I was shocked. The view of the building right in front of my room was not as clear as it should be considering the distance from my block. Woke up to check the PSI on channel 5, my goodness! 130. 2 days back was 52 and I already had difficulty breathing. It was really bad at my place, not sure if it's cos I stay near the coast. Looking out of my window just made me very reluctant to breathe. Sounds funny but it's true. Had fever and headache later on in the day. I just hid in my air con room the rest of the day.
Anyway, God just reminded me today of this verse:
Faith is being certain of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Anyway, God just reminded me today of this verse:
Faith is being certain of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
What A Friend
What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.
Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge; take it to the Lord in prayer. Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer! In his arms he'll take and shield thee; thou wilt find a solace there.
What a song. Was on the long bus ride home from city hall today after my evening class and I just poured out to God. I know myself, I'm not good at taking too many things at once. I always tell myself, ok sort things out one at a time. Truth in life is, things don't always come one at a time. Sometimes before I can sort something out in my mind and find meaning and a biblical response to it, another comes. Here's the start of my problem. When I pay attention to the next thing that comes, I start to fumble handling both. Then comes another. And another and another. Soon, there are a lot of overdue things in my mind. And frustration starts to build up. The thing is, I know if I can just get enough mental space I'd be ok. I need to take more long walks with God. A long bus ride would do too. Just like today. This song just came to mind as I poured out my heart to Him. I remember this song well. I use to sing it in Sunday school. Back then, these were merely lyrics. But today, I found a friend again in Jesus. I know He thinks the best of me. He understands me when I don't know what to say or how to say it. He understands my flaws and my fears. He knows why I behave and think the way I do. He understands me even when I don't understand myself. Thank you Jesus for always thinking the best of me and seeing hope in me. What a friend indeed!
Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge; take it to the Lord in prayer. Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer! In his arms he'll take and shield thee; thou wilt find a solace there.
What a song. Was on the long bus ride home from city hall today after my evening class and I just poured out to God. I know myself, I'm not good at taking too many things at once. I always tell myself, ok sort things out one at a time. Truth in life is, things don't always come one at a time. Sometimes before I can sort something out in my mind and find meaning and a biblical response to it, another comes. Here's the start of my problem. When I pay attention to the next thing that comes, I start to fumble handling both. Then comes another. And another and another. Soon, there are a lot of overdue things in my mind. And frustration starts to build up. The thing is, I know if I can just get enough mental space I'd be ok. I need to take more long walks with God. A long bus ride would do too. Just like today. This song just came to mind as I poured out my heart to Him. I remember this song well. I use to sing it in Sunday school. Back then, these were merely lyrics. But today, I found a friend again in Jesus. I know He thinks the best of me. He understands me when I don't know what to say or how to say it. He understands my flaws and my fears. He knows why I behave and think the way I do. He understands me even when I don't understand myself. Thank you Jesus for always thinking the best of me and seeing hope in me. What a friend indeed!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Life Is More Than What I See
Your Love
(Written by Fenny Luwis)
I never knew what life was meant to be
I thought that I figured it all out
What my life should be
Yet somehow I heard the voice deep inside of me
Whispering there should be more than this
So I searched the answer of life’s mystery
I climbed the highest mountain
Crossed the deepest sea
Yet through it all
Emptiness was all life could offer me
Until the day Your love found me
This love that reached out to me
You came from heaven to Calvary
You took my shame
Endured my pain
And You died on the cross for me
As You stretched out Your nail-scared hands
Heard You say Father now I can see
This love, Your divine love
Is why You have sent me
I never knew that love was meant for me
I never thought that life could be so free
Until Your love shines through my darkness
Now I can see
And I know life is more than what I see
For without You in my life
Without Your love holding me
I would be lost
Slowly fading to eternity
Now with You in my life
And Your love that has set me free
My heart’s rejoice
My soul’s relief
I know life is with You to eternity
This love that reached out to me
You came from heaven to Calvary
You took my shame
Endured my pain
And You died on the cross for me
As You stretched out Your nail-scared hands
Jesus my Lord now I can see
Your love, Your divine love
Is why You died for me
For without You in my life
Without Your love holding me
I would be lost
Slowly fading to eternity
Now with You in my life
And Your love that has set me free
My heart’s rejoice
My soul’s relief
I know Your love is my destiny
Now with You in my life
And Your love that has set me free
My heart’s rejoice
My soul’s relief
I know Your love is my destiny
(Written by Fenny Luwis)
I never knew what life was meant to be
I thought that I figured it all out
What my life should be
Yet somehow I heard the voice deep inside of me
Whispering there should be more than this
So I searched the answer of life’s mystery
I climbed the highest mountain
Crossed the deepest sea
Yet through it all
Emptiness was all life could offer me
Until the day Your love found me
This love that reached out to me
You came from heaven to Calvary
You took my shame
Endured my pain
And You died on the cross for me
As You stretched out Your nail-scared hands
Heard You say Father now I can see
This love, Your divine love
Is why You have sent me
I never knew that love was meant for me
I never thought that life could be so free
Until Your love shines through my darkness
Now I can see
And I know life is more than what I see
For without You in my life
Without Your love holding me
I would be lost
Slowly fading to eternity
Now with You in my life
And Your love that has set me free
My heart’s rejoice
My soul’s relief
I know life is with You to eternity
This love that reached out to me
You came from heaven to Calvary
You took my shame
Endured my pain
And You died on the cross for me
As You stretched out Your nail-scared hands
Jesus my Lord now I can see
Your love, Your divine love
Is why You died for me
For without You in my life
Without Your love holding me
I would be lost
Slowly fading to eternity
Now with You in my life
And Your love that has set me free
My heart’s rejoice
My soul’s relief
I know Your love is my destiny
Now with You in my life
And Your love that has set me free
My heart’s rejoice
My soul’s relief
I know Your love is my destiny
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
